I’m sitting on my sofa. Laptop on my lap. After a days of extreme highs and lows, thinking about how I perceive the world, and how much the world has shaped me.

The highs I experienced today were manic. No caffeine rush, no sugar, and I don’t take prescriptions. These highs were natural, but there were no triggers that I recall to create them.

That’s when my wife said: “I wonder if you’re bipolar?”

Wait, what?

Never in my life has this been a question. I’ve never been hyper or suffered attention deficit issues. I have had boughts of situational depression, and know a good funk or two, but internally I never perceived myself as being anything short of mentally strong.

So I immediately dismissed my wifes suggestive reasoning. But, my subconsious never let go of her words.

“Bipolar?”
“HA! No way! Never! That’s genetic, not conditional.”
“Are you sure?”
“Hmm… now that I think about it….”

Now before you or I get ahead of myself and the rest of this post, I’m not about to go off and self diagnose any possible ailment based on a single observation. I have plenty of reasonable doubt that I would not meet the criterion for a diagnosis. Or even come close. But I will entertain the thought of a deep and thorough internal self evaluation. It’s great therapy to give yourself a reality check every once in a while.

Here’s where it gets interesting. I’ve been married to a bi-polar sufferer for 8 years now. The observations made of how she handles, diffuses, and manages anxieties and stresses have been spectacular. The highs and states of elation were also spectacular. It’s the violent swings in the middle that can be horrifying. This medical condition is very real regardless what recent controversies may suggest.

Somehow I ended up in marketing. But if dollars wouldn’t have influenced me, I would have easily ended up in the fields of sociology or anthropology. I’m fascinated by human interaction, cultural influence, religion impact, and the conditioning that occurs with individuals. I strongly believe that each persons unique identity isn’t really his/her identity and it really isn’t all that unique. It’s the result of the culmination of thousands upon thousands of influences being applied to that person over time. I think being in marketing isn’t too far of a stretch in a sense, as it’s all about finding wasy to influence certain demographics to take a certain action (buy something, consume something, interact with something). Most people herd in the same direction, you just need to find their triggers.

It is with this same fundamental core that I strongly believe that environment can create certain emotional imbalances and possible dysfunctions as well.

It is with this core that I feel that even though I’m a mentally stable, logic processing, emotionally level individual, that I can still be capable of firing internal and external indicators that I may be bipolar. I’m not, but after living with a diagnosed bipolar and intimately observing behavior during manic episodes for 24, 48, sometimes 72 hours at a time, that I’m not at all surprised that I too can mimic some of these behaviors. Unintentionally. Subconsciously.

Today, my logic and processing were all still on cue. But my behavior and my energy were visibly manic to an outside observer. Internally, in addition being elated, even my heart rate was up. I was truly on cloud 9! And this is the only possibility I can have for describing it (unless I have a tumor. That’s always what happens on House at least).

I was suffering shadow syndrome symptoms. Fascinating!

I call it the “For Me Moment”. Or vice versa “Moment For Me”. Either way, it works.

A For Me Moment is when the karmic universe pays back its dividends. It’s when Life, the universe, God, protective angels, or whatever you feel is watching over you, sends you a confirmation. A wink. A nod. An exploding fist bump.

For example, I went to the bar with my brother-in-law and his wife while they were in town visiting. I was the designated driver and there for the wings. I was just chillin’ and enjoying hanging out with my relatives. That’s when a group of girls, attractive ones too, bought me a drink. That, my friends, was a For Me Moment. Now I’m a married man and wouldn’t act on anything, but I totally appreciated the gesture. I passed on the drink to my bro-in-law, made sure to give them thanks and cheers, and explained I was DD and we were getting ready to go. Then we left and I was grinning the entire way back.

I’ll admit, most For Me Moments usually involve (attractive) members of the opposite sex. It can be as simple as a someone doing a double take when they see you, with obvious signs of showing attraction. It could be a mutual friend telling you that someone thinks you are cute. A moment can be simple eye contact with a sexy girl at the city pool. It can be the bikini top that gets adjusted when she exits the water, giving you a sneak peek just because you happen to be looking that way. You’re the only one who saw, but she sees you and smiles while quickly fixing the wardrobe malfunction. You nod or wink back. “Thanks for the freebie, ma’am.” Yes, that’s a moment that was meant just for you! (This one happened to be my wife, which made it even better!)

Moments For Me don’t always have to be about attraction. For example, the other day I was dead tired. I had been up all night with my sick daughter. I left work early to go home to what I assumed was going to be more stress in helping manage the house and kids. I wasn’t looking forward to it all. Once I arrived home, my wife said without being prompted “Katie’s asleep, and Joey and I are going to the store. Why don’t you take a nap?” That moment was totally for me. I laid my head on my pillow with a big grin, and fell asleep to one of the best naps I’ve had in years (yes, years)!

A simple, unsolicited, accolade or “job well done” from a co-worker or employer is a moment. Finding unexpected cash in your wallet or sock drawer can be a moment. Getting a restaurant tab adjusted to free or significant discount without expecting it (even if it was to correct an error they may have made), can be a moment. Or simply hitting all green lights on a road that is notorious for stopping you at every light can be a great moment.

Simply put, a For Me Moment can be anything that happens outside of the norm’ that lets you know things are going to be just fine!

(And for the record, you can say For Me Moment or Moment For Me, or some other variation that works for you. Just don’t abbreviate it because that would be 2/3 gay).

As I contemplate whether or not I should write a 2008 wrap-up post, I decided one thing for sure: I’m ready to get rolling with 2009! Just a few days ago I wrote about being resolute. Today I’d like to follow-up with the first step in how to be resolute: be passionate!

Passion drives everything. Period.

With passion comes recognition, respect, and personal growth. Your friends and peers will turn to you as the expert for what you are passionate in. You may even gain a small following, earn some extra income, and possible see that passion explode into a huge career.

Without passion, you might as well report to your 9-to-5 at that cubicle job or department store, pick-up your bi-weekly paycheck, cash it at the check cashing store, and promptly find the nearest bar where someone else will be paid to hear how bad your life sucks. I know a lot of people fit that mold. If you are one of them, BREAK OUT OF IT ALREADY!

How do you break the mold and start being passionate about something in life. Well, for starters: START! You don’t need to be perfect, you don’t need to “wait until I…” or “will start as soon as I…”. No! You can start now!

I took this note to heart as I wrote my first blog post of a project that I’ve waited all too long to, um, start. The title? It’s simply called Get Started. It’s very appropriate here as well, as publishing websites is one of my deepest passions. I love the process of brainstorming and concepting a site, registering the domain, installing my CMS of choice, launching the site, and seeing it become successful. I may lack some detail follow-up work, but I’ve identified that weakness and know how to overcome it. But most importantly, I’m not letting that weakness stop me. I hope to follow my tried and true formulas with IncomeHacks and all my other projects I plan on starting this year.

That post is also relevant because it featured Gary Vaynerchuk. For those who don’t know Gary Vaynerchuk, he’s probably the most passionate person about wine that you will ever see. He’s the host of Wine Library TV. In my post on IH, I talk about how he got started. It was pretty humble. He had a large vision for his internet broadcast when he started it, but I doubt that even he didn’t expect that it would become as wildly popular as it has become. If you watch any of his episodes, you’ll see that his passion for his business shines through in everything he says and does. Passion is the X factor. Wine Library would not have nearly the online presence it has today if it wasn’t for Gary’s passion on the subject.

In fact, what Gary says about passion sums up everything I’m trying to say:

Welcome to 2009. The year of passion.

This kind of bothers me. When saturation takes place, a degradation process begins. Companies will start labeling things as “Organic” just to increase sales, but cut corners during the “Organic” process. The USDA has a Natural Organic Program certification (and good hell do they need to learn how to have decent URLs on government sites!), but there are crops of products that could care less about it and throw a “Organic” or “100% Natural” label on their box.

One of the surprising buys my wife made were organic Apples. Apples, really? Another thing that I find hilarious is “Organic” hydroponic lettuce. Sure they grow it in a factory, but it somehow ends up being organic.

Looking at the organic certification process, I think the world would be much better of if the reverse was true for marketing trends. Instead of labelling something as “organic” or “natural” to increase sales, regulators should require produce sellers to label their products if they aren’t organic. The world should assume something is organic unless otherwise informed. Think “PESTICIDES” or “GENETICALLY ALTERED” or “TOXINS” or “WE USED SEWER WATER TO GROW THESE” in huge 100pt fonts with starbursts around them. I think that would be more of an effective program to get sheep to eat better.

Even though I gave in to temptation at the office, I’m still doing well on my moderate weight loss goals. I’m yo-yo’ing like crazy though. I was down 13 lbs from where I started, almost 1/3 my goal, when I weighed in a few days ago. Today I weighed in and I’ve since gained 8 lbs of that back. To be fair, I didn’t weigh my self at the same time I normally do, which is the morning. And it was after I ate a big meal and drank a lot of water. So tomorrow when I weigh in I have a feeling I still have gained a little bit of weight but it won’t be the 8 lbs.

To help track my progress and develop a trend line, I installed The Hacker’s Diet plugin as suggested by John. Now if I could just get him to tell me his secret about getting the charts displayed on a publicly viewable page within WordPress.

In addition, I have been running 2-3 times per week on a regular basis. I also started a very light weight training program, so that when I decide to move to a full weight-training schedule I won’t be too green.

Final Thought: Anyone else see the irony in having a 2-hour long prime-time TV show about losing weight?

I’m beginning to accept what some of my strengths and weaknesses are. I’m great at the idea concept stage and strategizing a long term vision. I’m horrible at the details of what happens between concept and vision.

I’m great at quick burst projects, things that can get done in a couple weeks or less. I’m horrible at keeping interest if it spans beyond that.

I’m great at initiating contact and establishing solid relationships with potential vendors. I’m not as good during the implementation stage (though to my credit, I had an awesome success with a vendor this past summer). I’m worse at ending the relationship.

So I have strengths in initiating things and getting them past drawing board. I can accept that. What I need to do (and have done for the most part) is make sure I have the people behind me that can execute on my vision. This is for both my professional and personal projects (example of a personal project: it took me two months to tile our shower, it would have taken a pro all of 4 hours.)

What I also struggle with is timelines. Since I’m so used to being a one-man-show when it comes to producing sites, I always feel that I can get something done faster than what reality is. Other projects fill my co-workers queue, and in the grand scheme of things a proper website takes time. I wanted to launch a WordProject before Thanksgiving. It’s still not done. It’s at about the 90% and I found myself getting frustrated. Then a thought occured to me that if I were launching this site at a major public corporation, this thing would still be sitting on someones desk waiting for approval, and could take months or even a year to get it launched properly. The fact that I haven’t launched it after 3 weeks of working on it isn’t something I should be ashamed of. I just need to be patient, and realize that quality work takes quality time.

Yesterday was my half-birthday. If you ask me, half-birthdays should remain uneventful and unacknowledged. If you were to ask my wife though, she loves the concept of half-birthdays. She always gives me a hard time when its her half-birthday hoping she can guilt me into getting her a gift (never works). True story: last year a company she loves shopping at sent her a Half-Birthday Card with a “Why wait 6 months to spend something on yourself?” coupon inside. I tossed it at her and said “Wow did they hit the nail on the head targeting their customers with this one”. And yes, she spent it.

So why did I even notice my “half-birthday” this year? Well, it wasn’t that I was looking for a reason to celebrate. No, it was more or less me looking at the calendar and noticing that I only have 6 months left until I turn 30. Damn.

Thirty isn’t a horrific number. I’m not afraid of officially losing my 20’s forever. The only thing that worries me is that this is supposed to be the prime of my life. Reality is, I’m far from being prime anything. Don’t worry, I’m not getting depressed and emotional here. It’s just a fact and I’m facing it. Actually, I’m using it as motivation. I plan on enjoying my thirties to the fullest!

To start, on my 30th birthday I plan on going skydiving. This is something I’ve always wanted to do with my life but never set out to do it. It is on my “things I plan to do before I die” list. I’m pretty excited and looking very much forward to it.

But it will take some work. First time jumpers are required to jump tandem with an experienced dive coach. There are a few reason for this, but mostly so you have a safe jump and don’t panic and pull the ripcord too late (or worse, too soon for that matter. Ever hear of jetstreams?). I have no problem with this. However, there is a weight limit that the diver must be under 220 lbs. or he doesn’t jump. From what I hear, they are pretty strict about this. If you are 221 lbs. then you don’t jump, even if you try to convince them you’ll jump without your shoes.

So I know I’m overweight. My health, along with a lot of other needs, has taken a distant last place to the needs of my wife, kids, family finances, vehicles, work, friends etc. It’s not their fault, its mine. I just never made my health a true priority. That’s a shame really, because by being healthier I’d have increased ability to assist to the needs of others.

I know there is a saying along the lines of “you can make time for anything if you make it important enough”. Well, I think its about damn time that I make health a priority. I have a selfish reason and a not-so-selfish reason for doing so (skydiving being the former, my family is the latter).  I weighed myself yesterday. 280 lbs. Holy shit. My 6′4″ frame hides some of it well, but it is still apparent I have a lot of weight to lose.

So 280 lbs is where I am now, and 220 is where I want to be. That’s 60 pounds in 6 months when I turn thirty. Seems like a worthy and practical goal (although the last time I remember weighing under 220 I was in High School and skinny as a Hollywood Diva).

I plan on keeping track daily on another site of mine (link to come shortly), but I’ll post periodical updates here. And hell yeah I plan on posting my victory video of my 30th birthday jump!

I’m working on a better way to translate that energy to the physical realm. I can sort out the voices in my head by driving a piece of music into my ears. But I still tend to lose focus easily.

Problem is, I have too much stuff. I need to simplify my life by reducing the amount of stuff I carry around from me. Sometimes the “stuff” is tangible, like project papers and mail from 6 months ago (or longer). Other times it is less tangible but still just as heavy, such as projects, to-do lists, etc.

I was kindly awakened to the fact that I accumulate stuff way to easily when Paul Graham talked about his stuff. He offers some fantastic advice about how accumulation doesn’t just weigh you down, but it actually costs you a lot more than you realize just to keep your stuff. His breakdown of “stuff” is brilliant, to say the least.

The war against “stuff” is going to be a tough one for me. Mostly because my wife is a natural born packrat and we tend to always have “stuff”. Don’t get me wrong, she’s the most organized packrat you’ll ever meet. Boxes with large labels line our garage walls. She has a system and it works well for her. I, on the other hand, have no idea where anything is.

Like Paul, my biggest culprit is books. I love books. I used to be the same with CDs and DVDs. But since the advent of MP3s, Netflix, TIVO, Video-On-Demand and other extremely convenient digital delivery services, I haven’t felt the need to buy and keep discs of any format. Books are a bit tougher, and I truly love my books. But I can cut down on some of the older self-help, programming, and business books I have that are starting to become outdated. My fiction books will always remain with me.

Some other tricks to try to cut down on stuff include small little daily habits to help make your life easier and cut down on what you carry. Leo’s list of 10 minimalist things to do is an excellent place to start.

In my quest for becoming more effective and productive, I know that “stuff” is my true enemy. I have my work cutout for me.

• Today is Day 14 out of 30 for My Own Thirty Day Challenge.

Today I was reading through my Netvibes feeds when I came across a simple, yet brilliant post at 45n5 about starting a Money Making Blog. Michael explains that if you’re trying to earn revenue online: “Don’t be lame, you need a blog talking about these adventures.” This makes total sense. Not only do you get journal entries to catalog your journey, you also have a chance to build your personal brand, add an additional stream of income, and most likely help others who are trying to do the same thing!

Although I’m sure that John Chow would probably agree with a lot of what Michael discusses, he’s quick to point out that there is also a wrong way to start a blog every aspiring entreprenuer needs to keep in mind. The lessons learned from the bad example that John points out are to A) be yourself, B) don’t plagiarize other bloggers works, and C) have a solid “about” page.

An “about” page? Is that important? Seems a little self-fulfilling doesn’t it? No way! It has a much higher purpose, as Neil Patel had pointed out previously when he discusses why About Pages are essential. You could point out that you were captain of your high school football team and winner of a hot dog eating contest. But that information would be totally useless to the readers and potential clients. To paraphrase Neil, it’s best if you post helpful information as to what services you provide, what areas you specialize in, and how people can get hold of you. What else? Oh yeah, a photo. (I’m guilty). Your readers want to know what you look like. If you really are camera shy, you could always become simpsonized like these guys.

And finally, if you’re going to start a blog, create a decent About Me page, and work on your personal brand, you’re going to start becoming an authority on a subject whether you like it or not. Ryan Imel offers some authority blogging tips to help put you on the fast track.

Most important rule: always, always be true to yourself. I know, growing up sucks (that link might offend some readers, but Jon F. offers a great example of what makes him unique), but if we were all the same then why would we want to waste 20 hours a day reading other peoples blogs? Keep your voice, it’s the most important asset you have.

Oh, and the “next play” I mentioned when I started this post? It’s pretty simple: after I’m finished with this 30 day blogging challenge, I’m going to start another personal challenge. It’s been pretty successful so far, and the end result is I’m giving myself new behavioral habits to help me achieve my goals. Then, after that challenge, I’ll do another.

•  Today is Day 7 out of 30 for My Own Thirty Day Challenge.

The Flow, The Zone, The Moment.

Just the title alone, Achieving Peak Motivation, was enough for me to click through and read what was written. I have had my moments of “peak” motivation and would love to operate at peak levels of motivation more frequently than I currently do. Even a daily spurt of a few minutes would be more than I currently achieve. Programmers and athletes call it “being in the zone”, others describe it as “living in the moment” or “flow”. Whatever “peak motivation” means to you, you’ve probably experienced it and recognized it at least once in your life.

“But Carrots Are Good For You!”

Steve talks about how common and perhaps misguided approach to motivation through reward and punishment, using the carrot and the stick anology, and that one eventually reaches a point of complacency and must find a new carrot to chase. I’ll add that one can eventually choose to give up and not chase the carrot any more. I know that’s still technically a level of complacency, but is anyone complacent about lost dreams and “the one that got away?” No, they live in a horrid and nagging feed of memories and meloncholy projected like a looped-film in their brain for the remainder of their lives. That doesn’t really sound complacent to me.

Well, he says it better than I ever could:

The pleasure/pain model will only get you so far in life because eventually you hit a plateau of complacency. When your survival is at stake, pleasure and pain will be strong motivators. But what if you’re doing just fine and aren’t particularly threatened? Some say you must adapt the carrot/stick model to motivate yourself further — create bigger carrots and bigger sticks. Reward yourself more and whip yourself harder. But I think there’s a better approach than trying to motivate yourself with the human equivalent of canine obedience training.

A Better Method…

So if reward/punishment is so fundamentally flawed, what is a better methodology to improve motivation? Steve suggests a love and fear model. That to truly achieve maximum motivation, once must go through a polarization and align all their efforts and strengths towards one or the other. To love is to provide an outward flow of energy to others. To fear is to recieve energy from others.

He does spend a good deal of time explaining the difference between “love polarization” and sacraficing below your means. He also explains how “fear polarization” isn’t necessarily about greed and hurting others. To simplify it, fear is to focus on what you get, while love is to focus on what you give (or what you can offer). It’s also important to realize that you can’t vacate your own needs to fulfil the needs of others. You can help a lot more people if your own needs are met first. Likewise, you can also create a larger energy of fear by securing your own needs first.

His theory is that 99% of people are not activily polarized in one direction or the other. Naturally many people seem “mostly” polarized to one side or the other, but very few reach have “peak” motivation for either.

How It Can Apply To Me

I’m going to enjoy studying this subject. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about it, but I do want to achieve more in my life and feel that in order to do so I need to increase my motivational flow.

But I already know one hiccup that I must really take a look at. Growing up I have been instinctly raised to give my energies and service to others, so you could say I’m more naturally inclined to lean towards a “love polarity”. I’d agree. My wife on the other hand seems to always have a fear based belief system built into her. I’m not sure what the source is, but have two opposites in the same house often means that we disagree on a lot of common items. If we have guests in our house, I feel grateful that I could be assisting them with a place to stay or even just to enjoy the company of friends and family. My house is your house mentality. Make yourself at home. Now, my wife on the other hand is complete opposite and very teritorial. House guests not only are inconvenient, they are an invasion of privacy. Did they help themselves to cereal in the morning? Are they going to pay for it or replace it? How long are they going to stay so I know when to plan to get on with my life?

How did two opposites fall in love and get married? I scratch my head asking the same thing sometimes. As a couple, it would be so much easier if our energies were in synch. Don’t get me wrong, she’s very sweet and loving when she’s in her environment and comfort zone. But break her security blanket and watch out. She’s a nervous chihuahua where I’m more of a labrador retriever.

Guess I have my work cut out for me in order to achieve “peak motivation”.

• Today is Day 5 out of 30 for My Own Thirty Day Challenge.